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Dusk
Feb 7, 2010 16:36:42 GMT 12
Post by Bax vs. The world on Feb 7, 2010 16:36:42 GMT 12
>ignore all current quests >Lose iPod to become An Hero
No though feat for you superbad, you turn off your ipod and deposit it back into your backpack which remains in the middle of the road where you woke up.
>leave this town and search for a little furry feminine male sidekick
Nobody ever got anywhere staying in one place, you head for the north exit since north is the most manly direction to go in, you manage to get a few yard away from town before your enveloped in darkness. Way to go columbus you can't see anything now.
>train to become a super saiyan
Well, even lost you can still do something productive, you spend a few moments, grunting, crouching, looking constipated, and trying to have your hair defy gravity. You feel a little more in tune with your inner sayan.
You are now 1% towards super saiyan.
> spontaneously generate a second head for companionship
After exerting all your grunting and constipation-looking powers on becoming more super sayan you don't have much left to grow a second head.
Your in the middle of a dark mass. Your energy is at 50% Your health is 100% Your 1% towards super saiyan. Your ego is 60%
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Dusk
Feb 7, 2010 16:42:23 GMT 12
Post by Rosie on Feb 7, 2010 16:42:23 GMT 12
>continue to search for a little furry companion
>realize that reality is a lie and you are a god
>trip
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Dusk
Feb 7, 2010 16:43:40 GMT 12
Post by Fred on Feb 7, 2010 16:43:40 GMT 12
>Have a stroke which destroys your frontal lobe, leaving you incapable of motor functions (Moving)
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Dusk
Feb 7, 2010 16:50:14 GMT 12
Post by Bax vs. The world on Feb 7, 2010 16:50:14 GMT 12
>Have a stroke which destroys your frontal lobe, leaving you incapable of motor functions (Moving)
You stand around for a few moments and when this stroke you've suddenly had the urge to want to happen doesn't come you give up and move on to more semi-productive things.
>trip
Just because your in a wall of blackness doesn't mean there isn't other junk around to, you trip of a rock and fall face first into what you assume is dirt, you bleed a little.
Your health is 95%
>realize that reality is a lie and you are a god
Wait a minute, this is just one big game, your in control here, ever aspect around you was made by your whim, your no mere mortal, you. are. GOD!
No wait your not, that trip must've jarred your thinking there for a moment. Your still bleeding a bit.
>continue to search for a little furry companion
You scramble back up and dash off in whatever direction you think is manly, you end up coming back to town, perhaps something needs to be done here before you can move on. Maybe there is a puppy in that thrift mart that needs stealing.
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Dusk
Feb 7, 2010 16:52:36 GMT 12
Post by Rosie on Feb 7, 2010 16:52:36 GMT 12
>find something hard but able to be lifted
>break the shop's window
>if all else fails, cry
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Dusk
Feb 7, 2010 16:58:23 GMT 12
Post by Bax vs. The world on Feb 7, 2010 16:58:23 GMT 12
>find something hard but able to be lifted
You go over to the black smith shed and scrounge around, huzzah, the fruits of your labor have paid off. You find a [chunk of unidentifiable metal]! You heft it up in your arms ready to bash anything stupid enough to stand between you and your possible companion.
>break the shop's window
Time to put witch stoning classes you took at the community college to use, you hurl that big ol chunk of metal at the Thrift Mart walls and are rewarded with the oh so sweet sound of shattered glass. You can now get into Thrift Mart.
>if all else fails, cry
Your manhood stays intact for now Rosie.
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Dusk
Feb 7, 2010 17:01:54 GMT 12
Post by Rosie on Feb 7, 2010 17:01:54 GMT 12
>steal that damned puppy...which for some reason is in a threft store
>keep the metal as a weapon
>dance
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Dusk
Feb 7, 2010 17:11:55 GMT 12
Post by Bax vs. The world on Feb 7, 2010 17:11:55 GMT 12
>steal that damned puppy...which for some reason is in a threft store
You burst into Thrift Mart with imaginary guns blazing, and there he is. Sitting atop a vaguely Indian Jones-esque pedestal is the most cutest fucking puppy you'll ever see in your whole life, you walk up to him and he wags his tail at you happily and yips. "Hmm... I have to handle this carefully..." You say and lower yourself eye level with him, your no fool. You know a giant boulders gonna come crashing down when you pick this furball up. Then again, your the main character, no way somethings gonna kill you this early in the game, you stand back up and swipe the puppy like a hobo shop lifting his breakfast.
Only the puppy turns out to be a hologram, you begin to hear a faint grinding noise from outside, like somebody is dragging something on the ground.
>keep the metal as a weapon
You slip the nerf sword into your belt loop for safe keeping since you fail to keep your backpack with you and heft the metal chunk into your arms, you feel like the freaking hulk toting this thing around.
>dance
Can't touch this dun dadada dun dun dada!
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Dusk
Feb 7, 2010 17:13:30 GMT 12
Post by Rosie on Feb 7, 2010 17:13:30 GMT 12
>NOW kick some ass
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Dusk
Feb 7, 2010 17:17:16 GMT 12
Post by Bax vs. The world on Feb 7, 2010 17:17:16 GMT 12
>NOW kick some ass
You run back out of the Thrit Mart toting your make-shift metal bludgeon to confront whatever it is that needs ass kickings. But when you get outside you stop dead in your track.
Holy
Freaking
Crap
Pyramid Head Chuck Norris is standing on the far side of the street.
Dude your totally screwed. Ego is now 25%
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